Martha Stewart and Al Pacino

Okay, I couldn't think of a spiffy title, so there you have it. I want to be Martha Stewart I have decided. Yeah, sure, she has lost a shitload of money, but she still has a shitload of money and is about to go off to a prison where she can play tennis, do aerobics, and basically not be bothered by any of the outside world. Sounds good to me.

As a segue, sure, I'd like to be Al Pacino too. I went to an audition yesterday for the prequel to "Carlito's Way." I assumed I would be auditioning for the assistant of the assistant of the assistant. I rode up to Penthouse 1A with a beautiful man, only to find more beautiful men when I arrived. They were all auditioning for Pacino-like characters. All prettier than me. And not in the musical theatre boy sorta way, I'm talking about manly men, hunky hunks. It turns out that I am the first woman to come in for "Stripper" and "Drunk Hippy Woman" (they are the only white girl parts in the movie). Bernard Telsey, the Broadway casting agency knew me from other stuff (Hairspray, Rent), but it turns out that Bregman Productions (they produce almost all of Pacino's movies) knew me from my tiny tiny tiny part in "Table One," which Michael Bregman wrote and directed. I, of course, didn't put two and two together until afterwards. I walk in the room and they are in there! Not a 16 year old with pimples! But Marty and Michael!! I felt giddy. Michael said it was good to see me again. David, from Telsey asked me a bunch of questions afterwards about my agents and if he wanted me to go through them, or contact me directly. I told him to go through me, of course. Anyhoo, we'll see. All in all it was just the thing I needed. A bit of hope. Always good to get in front of the powers that be. Even if it is as a big hooch.